Saturday June 11th

I was released from the hospital on Friday so I had been home for 24 hours. I was still very anxious as to the thought of dooms day lurking at my door but being home made time pass a little more quickly. I wanted to pretend that everything would be ok & that this experience was no big deal but every time that I felt a gas pain or the baby kick I would wonder if this was it! I would be real still making sure that I had not just felt a contraction.

I tried not to use the restroom except when I absolutely had to & vowed to only shower every other day. I watched my children play & my husband prepare our home for a long list of people who would be in & out to help. I tried to get used to the idea that I would be asking everyone-family-friends and even at times strangers to help me out by filling up my water bottle or handing me my book if I could not reach it. My semi obsessive compulsive behavior quickly faded as I had to deal with items being on my counters or my kids not being wiped up as thoroughly after a meal as I would have done it. I dealt with my desk being a mess even though I saw it every time I used the restroom & I knew others would too I tried to understand that it was not a priority.

We setup my clothes-towels etc. right near the shower so I would not have to parade back & forth to obtain the items that I needed when I showered. We moved our master bed to the living room and sacrificed privacy so that I may be able to succeed through this bed rest time without feeling locked away & depressed.

Each day that went by we knew we were a little closer to our baby being able to live! My wonderful circle of friends setup a schedule to deliver meals to us and the month of June quickly filled up with a meal being delivered to us each night. July has been started & knowing that my family will be cared for in what seems like a simple gesture is a huge burden lifted off of my shoulders. I know my husband will sacrifice & stress during the time that I will be down & knowing that he will not have to work all day & come home while our children wait anxiously to have to cook a meal. He will not have to plan a menu or grocery shop for ingredients. He simply has to heat & serve which makes his evening so much easier! I am so thankful for those who have stepped up volunteering their time & resources to help us out! You have all shown me the other side of when I would deliver a meal or help a friend out. I knew I was helping but I never realized how much.