I sat in the hospital bed trying to explain what I knew to Jason-having to call him back with more information as each nurse or specialist would enter the room with more information. I tried to stay calm as I knew he was driving & had several hours to go. I did not want him to become emotional and even though I quivered as I spoke the words in my head they seemed to flow from my mouth with confidence.
I told him all that I was told-it was TOO EARLY-if Calvin came now he would DIE. I said there is nothing that we can do but to hope that the leak will seal up. I told him about the risk of infection & how I was being started on antibiotics. I told him how most women deliver within 24 hours of this happening.
Once during our call he began to cry. I said no-you cannot do that right now! I cannot do that right now! We both have to be strong & think clearly so scream & let your tears fall then call me back. We both managed to stay un-emotional just in shock until later that night.
It was a few hours into my stay when my Dad called. I had talked to several people-doctor's-friends-relatives but when my Dad called it was my time to lose it... All he said was "How are you Sweatheart"? I could not even speak because I guess I had not thought about how I was. I managed to mumble "I will call you back". I allowed myself to have really big tears fall from my face over & over again for about three minutes. I wiped my face and took a deep breathe & said to myself "you can do this"! When I finally picked up the phone, my call to my Dad was just like all of the others, I explained the facts & hung up saying I would call when I knew more....
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